The Buzz
A bruised ego won’t kill you
Q: I was passed over for a promotion in favour of a less-qualified candidate. I’m furious, insulted and feel like quitting. How do I face my humiliation?
A: Being rejected, overlooked or even wronged can be agonizing, but no one has ever died of a bruised ego. Leaving the company will mean enduring yet another application process without a track record to capitalize on. Your greatest victory can still be with your current employer if you take these steps:
- Get over it. Take a limited amount of time to be angry and nurse your ego back to health. Purge your negative feelings so you can convert the pain into a gain.
- Get back in the game. Like Olympians, true winners evaluate where they excelled and where they can improve. Schedule a meeting with the decision maker(s). This takes courage, but demonstrates your determination, commitment and passion. Acknowledge the winner. Do not dispute the selection process; instead, be curious and seek feedback.
- Get the gold. No Olympian trains in isolation. Enlist a mentor and supporters to keep you motivated and moving forward on your plan. Build visibility with decision-makers by reporting on your key accomplishments. Solicit and integrate their feedback.
You are positioning yourself to step into the promotion should the new candidate not work out, to be considered for other upcoming roles or even to have a position created especially for you.
Originally printed in The Province on March 4, 2007.
Leave your work at the office
Q: By Sunday evening I start dreading going back to work. I don’t sleep well worrying about all I have to do Monday morning. Then I begin my week tired and unproductive. What can I do?
A: Imagine an airplane on the tarmac with its jets revving at full throttle all weekend in anticipation of a Monday morning takeoff. It needlessly stresses its delicate instruments, drains its precious fuel and prematurely wears out its high-performance engines.
That’s exactly what goes on in type-A, driven personalities who cannot turn off their work motor.
De-clutter your mind before the weekend begins. Take the last 30 to 60 minutes Friday afternoon to map out the following week. Write yourself a to-do list and block out time in the upcoming week to deal with it. Committing tasks to a calendar will free your mind to relax, now that details won’t be forgotten.
Start your week with wins. Spend the first 30 to 60 minutes on Monday mornings tying up loose ends, answering e-mails and completing any tasks you can from your Friday list. These small victories will create a momentum of accomplishment right out of the gate.
During the weekend, leave work behind and have a life — truly. Balance is critical in order to be fully engaged at work, rather than being resentful of it and burning out.
Originally printed in The Province on January 14, 2007.
