New position overwhelms manager- Too much feedback can lead to information overload and cause poor decision-making

May 11, 2015

Q: The senior manager I just promoted is highly capable but needs direction. When I start giving her feedback in our weekly one-on-one meetings she shuts down. I use a supportive and empathetic tone when I am being constructive but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. How can I be more effective?

A: It is possible your manager is overwhelmed adjusting to the new responsibilities and would benefit from less well-intentioned advice in favour of more encouragement and space to find her own footing. Spend time being curious about how she thinks things are going. Ask her to share her views and ideas.

Celebrating successes together will cultivate a trusting collaborative partnership. When you observe the ‘deer in the headlights’ staring back at you, chances are the person is emotionally flooded therefore unable to take in any new information at the moment.

Slow the discussion down. Pay close attention to their body language. Stop the feedback at the first sign they are withdrawing from the discussion.

When a normally high-functioning individual is second guessing or questioning their abilities that’s a cue that they are overstressed.

The brain shuts down and the fight or flight response takes over.

In this reactive state the person loses their capacity to focus, struggles to remember and makes poor decisions.

To help the executive brain centre come back on line pause the discussion, talk about something neutral, offer water, or go for a walk with them so the person can recover and re-engage.

Your readiness likely exceeds your manager’s capacity right now. Pull back. Check in with her regularly using a ratio of three-to-one of acknowledgment to redirection. Support her to engage a peer, coach or mentor as a sounding board and impartial ally.

Patience will pay off in faster integration.

Reprinted from The Province, May 10, 2015.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Comments Off on New position overwhelms manager- Too much feedback can lead to information overload and cause poor decision-making 

Be tactful when the boss seeks your feedback

January 25, 2015

Q: My boss asked for my honest assessment about a decision he made which I strongly disagree with. How do I tell the truth without alienating him or should I keep my opinion to myself?

A: While honesty is the best policy, some delivery methods are more effective than others. Rather than react immediately, take time to neutralize your emotions and find some merit in his decision. Telling the boss his idea is ludicrous, then having to retract it afterward is worse than biting your tongue.

Why is he asking for your feedback post-decision? Does he appreciate healthy dialogue, debate and challenge to the status quo? Is he second-guessing himself and values your opinion? Or does he test people to see if they are with him or against him?

What is the potential risk of this decision to the organization and stakeholders?

Be honest with yourself; are you sharing your feedback to improve or alter the situation or to score a win by making him wrong and you right? If the latter, you are sure to lose.

Diplomacy and discretion in delivery are more effective than hitting him between the eyes with brutal honesty.

Meet privately and start by stating what is positive in his decision. Be curious. Ask questions about his decisionmaking before sharing your viewpoint.

Do not launch into a full disclosure.

Be brief with your opinion, framing it simply as another perspective to consider. “Here’s what I see from where I sit …”, “In my view …” Wait. Gauge how it is being received before adding more.

Be prepared with alternate solutions if he wants to change course. However, if he is committed to a direction which you believe to be significantly detrimental, perhaps the most honest expression of your integrity is to graciously exit.

 Reprinted from The Province, January 25, 2015.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Comments Off on Be tactful when the boss seeks your feedback 

Coaching a sign you’re valued

July 21, 2014

Q: I am a new team leader and feel I am being pressured by my boss to take coaching. I don’t feel I need it, but they are insisting I take it. Since the external coach has been hired by the company, I am suspicious that he will try to force the company’s agenda on me. Do you agree I should be concerned?

A: Coaching is a sign that the organization values you enough to invest in you because it is intended as a developmental, not a remedial platform.

Organizations commonly sponsor coaching to support the employee’s performance, career objectives, role confidence and management competencies.

If coaching is part of your company’s leadership development strategy, get clarity from your supervisor about their expectations for the engagement. Organizations often hire external accredited coaches who have no roles or influence within the organization so they can provide objective feedback and perspectives and avoid conflict of interest.

While the organization pays for the coaching and the supervisor and coachee may together determine the coaching goals, the conversations between coach and coachee are confidential.

The coachee, not the coach, reports out any results.

During the sessions, the coach does not direct, advise or tell the coachee what to do. They develop the client’s ability to make decisions, address key concerns, and develop themselves – to get feedback, to determine priorities and set the pace of learning, to reflect on and learn from experiences.

It is the coach’s duty to advocate for the coachee.

Surveys have shown 85 to 95 per cent of coachees have been satisfied with their coaching experience and return on investment to the organization can be as high as 800 per cent.

Reprinted from The Province, July 20, 2014.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Comments Off on Coaching a sign you’re valued 

Isolating worker IS bullying

June 22, 2014

Q I’ve hired a new employee and I am observing the five existing team members excluding him and talking about him behind his back. How should I handle it?

A: Ignoring a co-worker with the intent to harm or control, treating them differently than other peers and co-workers, or ostracism, isolation, dissociation or exclusion from others is workplace bullying.

Every employee deserves a respectful workplace and it is the organization’s responsibility to ensure it. If bullying is occurring, do not make excuses for it. Bullying is not something that an employee should be left alone to address.

Leaders either create or eradicate a bullying culture by how they behave and what they accept in the workplace. Do not ignore, condone, permit or contribute to any form of exclusion of any employee. Put a stop to any subtle signs of exclusion immediately.

Not acting sends the message that the behaviour is endorsed.  Toxic behaviour will grow to eventually subvert the workplace if staff sees there are no consequences. Workplace bullying destroys teams, collaboration, willingness to contribute and increases turnover.

Some steps to diffuse a toxic work environment :

  • Calling a staff meeting to educate everyone about what is considered bullying, how to respond to potential bullying behaviours and whom they can go to for help.
  • Acting swiftly and firmly. Insisting everyone at the workplace act respectfully and professionally to all staff, suppliers and customers.
  • While you may have a code of conduct, establish a written respectful workplace/anti-bullying policy that outlines acceptable and prohibited behaviours – including consequences, remediation and possible disciplinary action for violations.

The most important indicator of a successful workplace prevention program is management’s commitment. For tips on how to set up your policy go to www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/psychosocial/bullying.html or seek the help of an HR professional.

Reprinted from The Province, June 22, 2014.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Comments Off on Isolating worker IS bullying 

Lead from the middle

June 16, 2013

Q I am an influential VP who pushes agendas forward and gets results. I would bring huge value to the executive team, but the CEO says I come on too strong and need to “tone down” first. That’s not my style. Why should I change?

A You are confident and competent at leading from the front. Rather than perceiving the feedback as a need to change, what if it is an invitation to expand your leadership range? How skilled are you at leading from the middle and the back?

Leading peers requires different skills than leading directs. It involves relinquishing control, responsibility and ownership; collaborating, supporting and championing another’s ideas; being curious rather than convincing; listening, questioning and guiding other’s initiatives. Using their influence to persuade others align to the goal and obtain necessary resources to ensure its success.

When leading in the middle, the leader resists jumping in even if they know the answer.

They are not the dominant player. Instead they create a climate of openness and trust by encouraging all viewpoints, soliciting input and active involvement in decision making.

They point out the value in others opinions, facilitate debate, guide conversations rather than take a position. They ask rather than tell.

When leading from behind, the objective is to stay out of the limelight so others receive recognition for the work.

Ensure everyone works together collaboratively, only contributing strengths where there are deficits.

Effective inspiring leaders are adaptive and can accurately access which style is best suited for the situation to achieve results effectively while maintaining strong working relationships. They are able to hand over the steering wheel – becoming a gracious passenger, not a back seat driver.

Originally printed in The Province, June 16, 2013.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Leave a Comment 

Give critics a chance to be heard

August 6, 2012

Q My team implemented a company-wide technology change and a small but vocal group of detractors is publicly criticizing the move which is thwarting uptake. How do I get their buy in?

A dissension is normal and creative conflict can lead to valuable improvements when harnessed. Invite the core group to meet with you and other key leaders to voice their alternate viewpoints. Have a few former resisters attend to explain how they overcame their doubts and the ensuing benefits they discovered by opting in.

Set the meeting tone by appreciating their willingness to attend and share. Explain the intended purpose and out-come of the platform change and reiterate that it is here to stay. At the same time, state your commitment to hear their feedback and ease their challenges during the transition phase.

During the meeting, keep the dialogue focused on issues, not on people.

Strive to hear the value, insight and good in their viewpoints.

Remain calm, neutral and objective. Resist judging their opinions or defending yours.

Let disagreements emerge, remain curious and open. Recognize that the emotional stress of any adjustment period can result in a need to vent. Most often people want their views to be heard, accepted and validated, they are not expecting your agreement.

While you may not convert all of the naysayers, your goal is to create enough safety and comfort for them to bring issues directly to you rather than the public.

Schedule regular followup meetings to ensure you remain on common ground going forward.

If handled appropriately, the staunchest opponents can become your greatest advocates.

Originally published in The Province, August 5, 2012

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | 2 Comments 

How to give feedback to under-performers

April 9, 2012

Q: One of my managers cannot address his poor performers. We talk about it, he agrees to do it, then returns with reasons why he didn’t have the conversation. Any tips?

A: Even seasoned managers can cringe at that thought of confronting their loyal staff with bad news. It can be so anxiety provoking they procrastinate, deny, turn a blind eye, excuse, give in or give up. Unfortunately, poor performance doesn’t heal itself.

Shift your manager’s attitude. Remind him that since most people want to do well, they welcome feedback intended to support their development. Leadership’s commitment to preserving an employee’s job rather than setting him up for termination can deepen their relationship.

Your manager may be feeling responsible or guilty that this represents his own failure to support his staff. Consider having the employee’s performance review be reflected in his overall performance rating to hold him accountable. Without consequences, what motivates the manager to keep his team on track?

Enlist a coach or HR consultant to role-play the conversation, anticipate reactions and ways to address them. Have the manager follow these simple steps:

  • Write down the concern with specific examples.
  • List the consequences and implication of the employee’s actions.
  • Identify possible solutions and/or resources for the employee: i.e. coach, mentor, course
  • Set uninterrupted time aside to meet with the employee. Have a clear desired outcome. Prepare mentally.
  • During the meeting, be matter of fact, respectful and direct.
  • Ask the employee for their perspective. Listen openly, offer support.
  • Document next steps in a work plan. Hold employee accountable. Give specific feedback.

Your manager is also under performing. In the bigger picture, what might this reveal about your organization’s culture?

Originally printed in The Province, April 8, 2012.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Leave a Comment 

Take positives from negative

December 5, 2011

Q: I just got my 360 review and I’m devastated. I thought I was doing a great
job because my staff always achieves their results.

I discovered that being task focused makes people feel used and ignored. How
will I recover from this?

A: While the review may be negative, your attitude is positive and open. How
you handle the results is far more important than what you received. Absorb,
understand and act.

Take time to let the results sink in. Pay attention to good feedback, too.
Reflect on the information with curiosity and compassion rather than self
judgment.

Reduce the risk of appearing defensive. Don’t take any action until you are
unemotional.

Never seek more information or confront respondents. They already risked
giving you an honest assessment. Ask yourself: What are the common themes? How
are my good intentions being negatively perceived? What kind of leader do I want
to be?

?What three behaviours that would create the greatest positive impact and
reveal the leader you are aspiring to be?

? What small simple behavioural shifts would make a big difference?

? What manager, mentor, colleague or leadership coach would support your
development with ongoing feedback and holding you accountable to your
commitments.

Bring your staff onside by sharing with them how you intend to change. Invite
them to keep you on track by acknowledging you when you are successful and
calling you out when old behaviours creep in. Making changes based on their
feedback demonstrates you are a leader who values your staff enough to listen
and learn from them. That alone will positively alter their perception of
you.

Originally published in The Province, December 4, 2011.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Leave a Comment 

Steer clear of minefields

November 3, 2011

Q: My peer’s hypercritical attitude is wearing me down. Rather than deal with it, her supervisors are waiting for her to retire. I try including her in discussions, but it doesn’t help. What do you suggest?

A: Since she interacts with others the same way, this reveals more about her than those she criticizes.

Life rarely measures up to a critic’s expectations, since they usually hold themselves to an even higher level of criticism than they do others. So don’t waste your energy taking it personally. Stress can make people curt or blunt. Maybe she is unaware of how her words come across or how her negativity siphons other’s energy.

If inviting input or opinions, you must to be willing to hear her feedback. Focus on ‘what’ she is saying rather than getting caught up in ‘how’ she’s saying it. Find the golden nugget being offered and acknowledge its value. Leave the rest. Critical people believe the validity of their viewpoint and want it to be heard.

If you’re not ready to hear her insight, do not solicit it. Keep your communications factual, business-like and brief. Stay away from minefields and limit interactions to essential items.

You can’t change others’ attitudes, but you can choose how you react. Why do her criticisms get under your skin? What meaning do you attribute to her comments? What is it that bothers you? Just as the critic’s comments reflect more about them, your reaction reveals more about you.

Ironically, she can be a great teacher. A self-critical person doesn’t have the capacity or ability to offer it to others. However, you will have developed increased self-awareness and self management when you are can respond to her with genuine compassion and understanding.

Originally published in The Province, October 30, 2011.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Leave a Comment 

Set the tone for meetings

September 26, 2011

Q: My staff’s harsh criticisms of different viewpoints are preventing the sharing of innovative ideas in meetings. How can I create a more open exchange of dialogue?

A: Besides bringing in a neutral systems coach trained to resolve the team’s underlying conflict, role modelling by a leader is an effective way to achieve behavioural changes. The coaching skills of listening and asking curious questions would help break through the resistance.

Clear out your thoughts and agenda to focus attention on the speaker. If you are sorting and assessing the speaker’s message while they are speaking, you are NOT fully hearing them. You are filtering communication through assumptions and opinions. Listen beyond literal words, voice tone and their delivery. What is the underlying message they are trying to convey? What is their good intention beneath the words? What are they not saying?

Asking simple curious questions in a matter of fact manner will flush out their point of view. Seemingly obvious or dumb questions posed with sincere curiosity will encourage the speaker to disclose even more. Open ended questions that steer toward the positive in their viewpoint and begin with “what” will expand the conversation. For example: What is superior about this solution? What is the benefit? What would this afford us?

Avoid “why” questions that may make the speaker inadvertently feel interrogated or defensive. If the meeting becomes heated, neutralize it by curiously questioning the conflict – ensuring you are exhibiting judgment-free listening and dispassionate questioning. Your consistent follow through will demonstrate new meeting expectations promoting trust and safety so staff are motivated to contribute their ideas.

Originally published in The Province, September 25, 2011.

Posted by jonimar | Filed Under Coach's Corner | Leave a Comment 

Next Page »