Dealing with clashing values
Q: Two of my employees clash over their competing values, creating tension in the department. I appreciate both of their viewpoints. How do I get them to do the same so they will work together productively?
A: Values conflicts can be more challenging to work through since they are emotionally charged. People tend to feel judged, threatened or personally attacked because their values reflect deeply held beliefs. This takes a more delicate mediation.
Start by facilitating an honest dialogue where both parties can explain their value freely and fully without being interrogated or criticized. The first step is to break through possible misconceptions or stereotyping by ensuring both parties feel heard.
Build trust and safety by keeping the conversational tone neutral. Ask each party: What does this value mean to you? What’s important to you about this value? Have the other party repeat what they heard and articulate how this complementary viewpoint strengthens the department.
The outcome of this meeting is to open up understanding and mutual respect for each other’s viewpoint. The intention is not for both parties to come to an agreement or to change either party’s values. You will need to remind them of this often throughout the process.
Establish common ground by finding a larger universal value that they can both support. For example: the company’s mission. If the conversation circles back to their differences in belief, keep reinforcing their commitment to the larger shared value.
Operationalize the new mutually held belief by formalizing an agreement on how they will work toward it in their own way. Include concrete action steps that they will be held accountable to attain. Finally, affirm their commitment and mutual respect.
Originally published in The Province, August 21, 2011.
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