Desiderata- a tribute to my dad
May 24, 2010
Desiderata is a prose poem written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945) a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana. It has been reported that Desiderata was inspired by an urge that Ehrmann wrote about in his diary:
“I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift — a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods.”
Around 1959, the Rev. Frederick Kates, the rector of St. Paul’s Church in Baltimore, Maryland, used the poem in a collection of devotional materials he compiled for his congregation. (Some years earlier he had come across a copy of Desiderata.)
Desiderata is Latin for “Things to be Desired”
This poem is meaningful to me because when I was about 11 years old my dad gave me a copy of it written in beautiful scrolled old style calligraphy on parchment paper. He told me of its power and importance for my life. It hung in my room throughout my turbulent teen years.
Dad always impressed upon me that it doesn’t matter what happens to you in life, it’s what you do with it. This poem speaks to me about his values and desires for his children. What he taught me is to honor the truth of who I am, to access my resilience, to give my personal best while stretching towards my potential, to acknowledge and value my gifts. Always reminding me that I am a child of the universe. He meant I have the right and responsibility here on earth.
Whenever I wrestled with issues, or forgot who I was or what I was up to in life, reading this would inspire me return to what I knew was true about myself. To remember my purpose is to strive towards what I am called to do in my lifetime and who I was created to be in the world.
I hadn’t thought about this poem much recently until last week when my dad reminded me of it. It brought back a flood of memories about how it kept me grounded in myself especially when things swirled around me.
We were sitting side by side on his hospital bed when he said in a very low tone his treatment wasn’t working. I heard resignation in his voice. It was my turn to remind him of who he is and his responsibility to make conscious choices in the face of circumstances rather than let his long illness determine his fate.
Today is Victoria Day in Canada and his birthday. In honor of him on his special day I am reprinting Desiderata here for him and for you. Dad sought to inspire, support and encourage others to improve their lot in life by shifting their mindset. It would thrill him to know that he is still able to made a positive difference by sharing this poem. So do let me know what you think of this posting so I can share with dad his impact.
I pray that this meaningful prose has the power again to connect him to his deep strength and courage as he seeks renewed meaning, purpose and peace in his own life for the will to recover from a second challenging relapse in a month.
Dad, you have been the philosopher, the rebel trail blazer and thought leader that shaped our family’s outlook and how we serve in the world. You took a stand that anything is possible for us. And that the most important determinant for achieving the impossible is to simply believe in its possibility. Since we didn’t know any different we believed you. As a result, each of us in the family has manifested what others told us couldn’t be done. This is your legacy. Your work is not done. It’s your turn to model this to us once again. Happy Birthday, we want many more with you. I love you.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Copyright 1952
Heart has to be in your work
January 20, 2008
A: There are so many choices and a working life is decades long. Regardless of career trends, job titles or enticing incentives, if your heart’s not in your work, you’ll simply lack the staying power.
Focus on a direction you are drawn to — be it finance, medicine or technology. Don’t panic if you can’t pinpoint the ideal job. Instead, explore with an open mind what is possible and available in that field. Future careers can be built on the experience and expertise gained in other areas.
Know that many other factors, such as industry sector, company culture, management style and work environment, influence job satisfaction. Information interviews with people already on the job can foreshadow what lies ahead.
To discover what would sustain you over the long haul, explore questions such as the following:
PURPOSE: Upon my retirement, what contribution would I want to be remembered for?
PASSION: What tasks and activities do I enjoy? What bores me? What “causes” motivate and inspire me to action?
STRENGTHS: What are my unique talents? What are my key skills? What am I interested in developing further?
VALUES: What core values are essential for me in my professional life? For example, integrity, service, flexibility.
A mentor, coach or career counsellor can help connect your key motivators with suitable opportunities.
Originally printed in The Province, January 20, 2008.
Feature Article: How do you find your purpose?
October 25, 2007
Joni Mar was featured on Straight.com on October 25, 2007.
A life coach can help you ask the hard questions.
When many people hear the word coach, their first thought is of someone who advises an amateur or professional athlete. They’re unlikely to think of having their own coach, who can encourage them to achieve their goals in life.
But that is starting to change, now that Vancouver has become a hub in the burgeoning field of life and business coaching. There are approximately 200 members of the Vancouver chapter of the U.S.–based International Coach Federation, according to the local president, Ray Williams, with about half of them ICF–certified.
