The Buzz
Validation
This very clever 16 min film is SO worth the time it takes to watch!
It is a great reminder of the power our words have on others. Remember your mom used to say, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”? Well, mom was right. We have the ability to literally make or break a person.
The correction, criticism, and negative feedback we are bombarded with throughout our lives can be destructive. People lose their joy and passion when they lose sight of their own greatness. As humans we have a deep a need to be seen, heard and valued.
How to handle a boss who breaks promises
Q: My boss promises incentives for achieving targets, but when we reach them, he gives every reason why we won’t get them. With the economy the way it is, I can’t afford to make waves and get fired, but I have lost trust and respect for him. How can I get beyond this?
A: Your boss is in the position of authority, but you have a choice — and experiencing that choice offers you freedom and peace even if you don’t get your desired results.
You can choose to resolve this by developing new alternatives where you both still reach your goals and maintain your relationship. Express your point of view in a calm, neutral way without attacking him. Document and verify all future agreements up front.
If your boss still disagrees, you have been true to yourself and you’ll know where you stand. You can’t always change a person’s mind or the situation, no matter how hard you try. Instead of fighting a losing battle, you can decide to accommodate. In other words, let it go.
You can opt to overpower him by taking it to an influential ally or higher power to force the issue. But what’s the long-range cost to you? If his behaviour reflects the organization’s culture, this could be a no-win situation. It might be wise to cut your losses and move on.
Alternatively you can compromise on what goals you are willing to give up in exchange for others. Staying put means contending with this boss. Is it worth the trade-off of not having to job hunt?
Stewing about bad treatment breeds resentment and drains your energy. Refocus on what brings you satisfaction at work. Set your own benchmarks and incentives for attaining them. If you can’t find a way to minimize conflict, minimize the contact.
Originally printed in The Province on February 8, 2009.
Build on your own success
Q: I’m reflecting on the rocky road my company has been following this year. How do I increase my job performance and security in 2009?
A: To continually enhance your performance, it’s always a good practice at year-end to reflect on where you excelled, where you could have been more effective, and to set new targets for the coming year.
Start by acknowledging what you did well to generate momentum and a solid foundation for future successes. Go ahead, brag to yourself. What wins am I celebrating? What did I do to achieve them?
How can I build on these strengths in 2009? What accomplishments were most meaningful for me this year and why? What will I do to create more success next year?
While it’s most rewarding to review the wins, it’s the learning from the year’s deficits that often produces the biggest payoff next year. Plus, employees who demonstrate significant improvement on their shortfalls get the manager’s attention.
Be brutally honest. What disappointments did I have this year? What important lessons did I learn from them? What will I do differently? What do I need to complete or rectify to move forward with a clean slate in 2009?
Finally, create clear realistic targets to focus your energy and attention for the new year. What goals do I want to attain next year? How will I accomplish them? What action steps will support my goals? Where do I want to end the year? What do I want to be remembered for? What do I want to be celebrating a year from now?
Refer to your answers to these questions regularly throughout the year to monitor your progress and keep you on track. Displaying focused direction, proactive initiative, and the ability to adapt and grow in a turbulent economy can distinguish you as invaluable talent well worth retaining.
Originally printed in The Province on December 28, 2008.
Stay in touch with your boss
Q: With the dramatic economic downturn, I am noticing my colleagues are increasingly territorial and protective of their jobs. They are even claiming my results as their own. In spite of my best efforts to resist, I am being drawn into the fray. How do I insulate myself?
A: Understand that the threat on their job security is likely motivating their actions. Fear and stress reveal a person’s true character. While such tactics may be designed to protect their turf, they can actually cause their demise.
So why not play a different game with considerably better odds? Differentiate yourself by taking a completely different tack — the best defence is a good offence.
First, be crystal clear about how success is being measured in this new economic reality. Clarify with your supervisor what outcomes you are expected to achieve, their deadlines and what specific criteria you’re being measured against.
Don’t stop there. Stay in regular communication with the key leaders in your company. In a fluctuating economy, strategies and measures can shift quickly. Understanding where the brass is heading enables you to correct your course at a moment’s notice.
Focus on doing the best you can in your role by being productive and generating positive results.
Your boss will have firsthand knowledge of your efforts — and no rumour mill can snatch that away from you. By making it your mission to meet the organization’s goals, you’ll be demonstrating beyond words that you are a proactive, dedicated and dependable leader — a valuable asset who’s worth hanging on to!
Distance yourself from the unhealthy head games. The economic climate won’t last forever. Find unmet needs or gaps in your organization that you can easily fill. While others worry about hanging on to their jobs, you could find yourself up for promotion.
Originally printed in The Province on November 16, 2008.
Your strengths will sustain you
Q: I’ve just been promoted to senior manager, but I’m intimidated about meeting customers more senior than I. I doubt I have enough to offer someone so experienced. How can I overcome this immediately?
A: A new role can definitely push you out of your comfort zone, but if you didn’t have the potential to grow into the responsibilities, you wouldn’t be in this position.
Build your confidence by leveraging your current strengths. If spontaneity is a challenge, pre-plan your presentation.
Steer the meeting to showcase your unique strengths and knowledge. Promote whatever it is — your technical expertise, business systems integration or financial forecasting. Clearly outline how your solution benefits the client, demonstrating you really understand and care about their needs. Resist the temptation to over-compensate by exaggerating your expertise. They’ll see right through that.
Be honest about what you know and don’t be afraid to say you’ll get back to them when you don’t. Creating space between your interactions can buy you time to formulate intelligent responses.
Before each meeting, take several minutes alone to collect your thoughts and decide what kind of executive presence you want to project: trustworthiness, confidence, flexibility, determination or ingenuity? Think about how you need to show up to demonstrate those characteristics to create that impact.
Finally, enjoy this honeymoon period by giving yourself time to get acquainted with your clients. It is more advantageous to uncover what’s important to them than it is to show off how much you know.
Spend the bulk of your time being genuinely curious about them, what they want, need and how they define success. Forging solid relationships is a wise long-term investment for any promising up-and-comer no matter where their future sights are set.
Originally printed in The Province on October 5, 2008.
