The Buzz
Managers lead by example
Q: I’ve just been promoted into my first management position. Without technical to-dos to check off the list each day, I don’t feel I’m accomplishing anything. How do I ensure I am adding value to my company?
A: It’s a common mistake for new managers to gravitate to tasks instead of people. You got the job because you accomplished things in an outstanding way. Now your role is to support others to produce results and reach their potential. Your success depends on your team’s performance.
Great leaders model and mentor others to achieve their goals effectively. Find out what matters to your people then advocate for the resources and tools they need to flourish. This may mean helping them leverage their strengths, reach their career aspirations or work smarter not harder.
While you have the experience, you’re not the expert. Valued managers coach their people to perform at ‘their best’ by listening more, talking less. Set clear expectations, empower them to do their job, then stand back and let them do it as long as their output meets the expectations. Give direct feedback on areas for improvement privately in a way that motivates them to rise to the challenge rather than discourages them.
Your role is to make sound and often tough decisions with which others may not agree. Create an environment of trust and respect, demonstrate desirable behaviours and foster collaboration by being an example.
A leader’s responsibility is to be the keeper of the vision. Hold the big picture and articulate it in a way that inspires the team. You provide individuals a sense of purpose so they are engaged and aligned with the organization. Valuable leaders have the ability to make their people feel valued.
Originally printed in The Province, June 20, 2010.
Desiderata- a tribute to my dad
Desiderata is a prose poem written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945) a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana. It has been reported that Desiderata was inspired by an urge that Ehrmann wrote about in his diary:
“I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift — a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods.”
Around 1959, the Rev. Frederick Kates, the rector of St. Paul’s Church in Baltimore, Maryland, used the poem in a collection of devotional materials he compiled for his congregation. (Some years earlier he had come across a copy of Desiderata.)
Desiderata is Latin for “Things to be Desired”
This poem is meaningful to me because when I was about 11 years old my dad gave me a copy of it written in beautiful scrolled old style calligraphy on parchment paper. He told me of its power and importance for my life. It hung in my room throughout my turbulent teen years.
Dad always impressed upon me that it doesn’t matter what happens to you in life, it’s what you do with it. This poem speaks to me about his values and desires for his children. What he taught me is to honor the truth of who I am, to access my resilience, to give my personal best while stretching towards my potential, to acknowledge and value my gifts. Always reminding me that I am a child of the universe. He meant I have the right and responsibility here on earth.
Whenever I wrestled with issues, or forgot who I was or what I was up to in life, reading this would inspire me return to what I knew was true about myself. To remember my purpose is to strive towards what I am called to do in my lifetime and who I was created to be in the world.
I hadn’t thought about this poem much recently until last week when my dad reminded me of it. It brought back a flood of memories about how it kept me grounded in myself especially when things swirled around me.
We were sitting side by side on his hospital bed when he said in a very low tone his treatment wasn’t working. I heard resignation in his voice. It was my turn to remind him of who he is and his responsibility to make conscious choices in the face of circumstances rather than let his long illness determine his fate.
Today is Victoria Day in Canada and his birthday. In honor of him on his special day I am reprinting Desiderata here for him and for you. Dad sought to inspire, support and encourage others to improve their lot in life by shifting their mindset. It would thrill him to know that he is still able to made a positive difference by sharing this poem. So do let me know what you think of this posting so I can share with dad his impact.
I pray that this meaningful prose has the power again to connect him to his deep strength and courage as he seeks renewed meaning, purpose and peace in his own life for the will to recover from a second challenging relapse in a month.
Dad, you have been the philosopher, the rebel trail blazer and thought leader that shaped our family’s outlook and how we serve in the world. You took a stand that anything is possible for us. And that the most important determinant for achieving the impossible is to simply believe in its possibility. Since we didn’t know any different we believed you. As a result, each of us in the family has manifested what others told us couldn’t be done. This is your legacy. Your work is not done. It’s your turn to model this to us once again. Happy Birthday, we want many more with you. I love you.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Copyright 1952
Start by finding common ground
Q: Two of my managers have been squabbling for years. Rather than working things out between themselves, they bring everything to me. I’m tired of mediating. How can I put a stop to this so they focus on their jobs?
A: Being a middle man is a no-win position. It fuels their feud as both parties vie for your attention and allegiance. The cost in lost productivity and increased tension is too high for these behaviours to continue. Reinforce this with consequences if they are unable to collaborate effectively.
Moderate rather than mediate a meeting where they speak directly to one another rather than through you. Point out wherever common ground exists between them on objectives, outcomes or vision.
Give both parties equal chance to present their point of view dispassionately. Trust builds when speakers feel their opinion is being heard and listeners know they are not forced to agree.
Conflict often stems from miscommunication and misunderstanding. Ask the listener to restate what he or she heard, plus one benefit of that viewpoint. Explain they are simply acknowledging they heard the person’s perspective, not that they are necessarily agreeing with it.
Alignment can break down in the tactical stage of determining how to implement plans. Individuals may attack or defend when trying to marshal support for their ideas.
Resist getting dragged into conflict or feeling responsible to resolve it. Neutralize things by asking how they will leverage each other’s strengths to create combined success. Keep the discussion solution focused and acknowledge effective communication when it occurs.
Be sure they leave with strategies to interact more productively. Arrange a followup to check in on their progress. If additional support is needed to de-escalate conflict, contact your HR department or a certified corporate coach while you reassess the roles and responsibilities of these team members.
Originally printed in The Province, May 16, 2010.
Be honest with career coach
Q: I am finally warming to my boss’s recommendation to get coaching. Now how do I choose the best coach for me and get the most value from the experience?
A: You’re already on the road to getting more value by your shift in attitude. An open and willing coachee achieves far greater results than a closed and resistant one.
Request a complimentary coaching session with a few coaches so you can test drive the different ‘models.’ Select a coach who is qualified, has strengths that match your needs, and a style that you can comfortably trust. Follow your gut when making your choice.
Your coach is your ally, be straight with them. Provide your new coach with relevant background about yourself.
I mean the good, the bad and the ugly. The good — your strengths and desired outcomes; the bad — where you get in your own way, your shortcomings; and the ugly — the self-defeating behaviours and habits.
You are responsible for getting value from the coaching. Your coach is your ally and wants you to be successful.
You know what makes you tick. Tell your coach what motivates you. Do you excel when you are pushed hard? Or do you thrive with gentle prodding? Growth in coaching can happen in fits and starts. Be patient, realistic and enjoy the process.
The results from coaching are directly proportionate to what you invest in it. Create three to five significant goals that would make a considerable difference to you at work or in your life by achieving them. Bring a relevant topic to every session. Expect to be amazed by yourself.
Originally printed in The Province April 4, 2010.
Coaches build on your career
Q My boss says I need coaching if I want to be promoted. I’m feeling singled out. How is coaching going to help me and what guarantee do I have that what I say won’t be used against me by my boss?
A This is the best possible news. Your boss is actually saying he’s confident in your untapped potential and you’re worth the investment. You’re also in good company. Up to 40 per cent of Fortune 500 companies engage coaches for their high performers.
Coaching is a powerful way of moving you from where you are currently to where you want to be — producing extraordinary results in less time than you could typically accomplish alone.
In two or three focused confidential sessions each month, a coach accelerates progress by asking provocative questions, listening, contributing observations and directing your awareness, choices and actions. Any reporting out to management will come from you, not your coach.
As a client you’ll gain clarity, insight and learning. By building on your strengths, revealing blind spots, developing new competencies and taking effective actions, you’ll be able to replace unproductive outdated strategies.
Results are entirely dependent on your willingness to invest in the coaching. Ninety seven per cent of clients report coaching exceeded their expectations. More than 75 per cent experience improved working relationships, while over 60 per cent experience smarter goal setting, an increase in job satisfaction and less stress. Who doesn’t want that?
Choose a coach you trust and who is certified by the International Coach Federation — the worldwide professional governing body. A full description of the ethical standards is available at www.coachfederation.org.
Originally printed in The Province February 14, 2010.
