New position overwhelms manager- Too much feedback can lead to information overload and cause poor decision-making

May 11, 2015

Q: The senior manager I just promoted is highly capable but needs direction. When I start giving her feedback in our weekly one-on-one meetings she shuts down. I use a supportive and empathetic tone when I am being constructive but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. How can I be more effective?

A: It is possible your manager is overwhelmed adjusting to the new responsibilities and would benefit from less well-intentioned advice in favour of more encouragement and space to find her own footing. Spend time being curious about how she thinks things are going. Ask her to share her views and ideas.

Celebrating successes together will cultivate a trusting collaborative partnership. When you observe the ‘deer in the headlights’ staring back at you, chances are the person is emotionally flooded therefore unable to take in any new information at the moment.

Slow the discussion down. Pay close attention to their body language. Stop the feedback at the first sign they are withdrawing from the discussion.

When a normally high-functioning individual is second guessing or questioning their abilities that’s a cue that they are overstressed.

The brain shuts down and the fight or flight response takes over.

In this reactive state the person loses their capacity to focus, struggles to remember and makes poor decisions.

To help the executive brain centre come back on line pause the discussion, talk about something neutral, offer water, or go for a walk with them so the person can recover and re-engage.

Your readiness likely exceeds your manager’s capacity right now. Pull back. Check in with her regularly using a ratio of three-to-one of acknowledgment to redirection. Support her to engage a peer, coach or mentor as a sounding board and impartial ally.

Patience will pay off in faster integration.

Reprinted from The Province, May 10, 2015.

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Be tactful when the boss seeks your feedback

January 25, 2015

Q: My boss asked for my honest assessment about a decision he made which I strongly disagree with. How do I tell the truth without alienating him or should I keep my opinion to myself?

A: While honesty is the best policy, some delivery methods are more effective than others. Rather than react immediately, take time to neutralize your emotions and find some merit in his decision. Telling the boss his idea is ludicrous, then having to retract it afterward is worse than biting your tongue.

Why is he asking for your feedback post-decision? Does he appreciate healthy dialogue, debate and challenge to the status quo? Is he second-guessing himself and values your opinion? Or does he test people to see if they are with him or against him?

What is the potential risk of this decision to the organization and stakeholders?

Be honest with yourself; are you sharing your feedback to improve or alter the situation or to score a win by making him wrong and you right? If the latter, you are sure to lose.

Diplomacy and discretion in delivery are more effective than hitting him between the eyes with brutal honesty.

Meet privately and start by stating what is positive in his decision. Be curious. Ask questions about his decisionmaking before sharing your viewpoint.

Do not launch into a full disclosure.

Be brief with your opinion, framing it simply as another perspective to consider. “Here’s what I see from where I sit …”, “In my view …” Wait. Gauge how it is being received before adding more.

Be prepared with alternate solutions if he wants to change course. However, if he is committed to a direction which you believe to be significantly detrimental, perhaps the most honest expression of your integrity is to graciously exit.

 Reprinted from The Province, January 25, 2015.

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Give employees time to follow your ideas

October 15, 2014

Q: I have a new leadership team of very smart but silent managers. I want dialogue and debate but all I get is blank stares.  So to keep the meetings moving efficiently I end up supplying all the answers. How do I get them to speak up?

A: Sounds like the rate at which you process data is quite different than your team.  Your members may need more time than you are allowing- to take in and absorb the information – to feel confident with their responses.

You already know your message.  Members don’t.  They need ramp up time to get on the same page with you. Before launching into your topic provide a high level overview outlining what you want them to listen for, and explain how the information is relevant to them.  Better still send a summary ahead of time so they feel equipped to share intelligently in the meeting.

Are you overwhelming the listener with dense details, extraneous rambling, or a bombardment of rapid fire ideas- all of which are challenging to sort through?  It is hard to contribute when they are confused.  Keep your message succinct and on point.

Structure the conversation in a logical manner, slow your pace so they can digest your message and connect the dots as you speak.  Pause frequently inviting comments, opinions and ideas into the white space by asking short open ended questions. Remain genuinely open, curious and appreciative of their responses. Then exercise patience rather than pressure as they formulate their answers.

Recognize you are the highest ranking in the room. Sharing your viewpoint too soon or too often can kill discussion. Team members commonly feel the stakes are too high to risk challenging or debating after hearing where the leader stands.

Reprinted from The Province, September 28, 2014. 

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Isolating worker IS bullying

June 22, 2014

Q I’ve hired a new employee and I am observing the five existing team members excluding him and talking about him behind his back. How should I handle it?

A: Ignoring a co-worker with the intent to harm or control, treating them differently than other peers and co-workers, or ostracism, isolation, dissociation or exclusion from others is workplace bullying.

Every employee deserves a respectful workplace and it is the organization’s responsibility to ensure it. If bullying is occurring, do not make excuses for it. Bullying is not something that an employee should be left alone to address.

Leaders either create or eradicate a bullying culture by how they behave and what they accept in the workplace. Do not ignore, condone, permit or contribute to any form of exclusion of any employee. Put a stop to any subtle signs of exclusion immediately.

Not acting sends the message that the behaviour is endorsed.  Toxic behaviour will grow to eventually subvert the workplace if staff sees there are no consequences. Workplace bullying destroys teams, collaboration, willingness to contribute and increases turnover.

Some steps to diffuse a toxic work environment :

  • Calling a staff meeting to educate everyone about what is considered bullying, how to respond to potential bullying behaviours and whom they can go to for help.
  • Acting swiftly and firmly. Insisting everyone at the workplace act respectfully and professionally to all staff, suppliers and customers.
  • While you may have a code of conduct, establish a written respectful workplace/anti-bullying policy that outlines acceptable and prohibited behaviours – including consequences, remediation and possible disciplinary action for violations.

The most important indicator of a successful workplace prevention program is management’s commitment. For tips on how to set up your policy go to www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/psychosocial/bullying.html or seek the help of an HR professional.

Reprinted from The Province, June 22, 2014.

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Firing can be overcome

November 19, 2013

Q: I’ve been cut loose from my executive position with seven years until retirement. How do I position myself after being sacked?

A: Personality and “f i t” account for most terminations. Being fired is recoverable if you handle it properly. First, make peace with what happened so you don’t bring negativity to the interview.

If or when the issue comes up, admit you were fired. Don’t introduce it yourself. Address the question directly. Explain the circumstances and reasons without even a hint of blame, resentment or defensiveness. This is an opportunity to demonstrate selfawareness, self-management, honesty and transparency.

Recognizing a potent ial employer will have some concerns, a well-presented explanation can show that regardless of the termination, you are a person with great value and potential. Point to your strengths, expertise and past successes so they understand this one-time occurrence will not affect your future performance.

Look the interviewer straight in the eyes with matter-of-fact confidence. A person who conveys fear or anxiety in their tone or body language leads the interviewer to believe there is more to the situation than is being revealed.

Frame the dismissal in terms of what you learned, how you grew from it and how the next company will benefit from the experience. Take responsibility for whatever your part was in it. Provide strong references who can provide third-party credibility to your character.

Smaller organizations that are reaching maturity could benefit from your invaluable experience. Skills are transferable. What other industries would profit from your unique expertise and outside perspective? Attitude and a sense of confidence can be the key to finding an even better role in a company where you will be a valuable addition to their organization and a ‘fit’ for their culture.

Originally published in The Province, Nov. 17, 2013. 

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Keep your global team well engaged

August 4, 2013

Q: My new executive role means I’m managing a global team. How do I keep them engaged, on track and working together without having to travel every week?

A: To avoid excessive travel and working 24/7, a team charter is essential for a geographically disperse team. Create a compelling vision and motivating purpose that each member aligns with.

Clearly defined roles and responsibilities, agreement on the team’s goals, and how it will operate as a unit helps members stay on track when you are unavailable.

With a range of cultural, language and time differences, regular communication is vital to keep everyone on the same page and moving forward together.

Clear, concise, direct communication will help minimize misunderstandings. Reiterate key objectives often by email.

Technology can be highly effectively when face to face isn’t possible.

Maintain frequent visual one-on-ones with everyone, allotting time to connect with them personally. Regular group meetings which include some informal team bonding time build regarding readership understanding, camaraderie and unity.

An intranet site where members can share best practices, photos, wins and personal updates keeps them in community between meetings.

Demonstrate fairness, equality and consistency so each individual feels valued as an integral member who brings a unique and vital contribution.

If some have regular access to you in person, pay special attention to those who are more isolated. Those who are more isolated may need more recognition to prevent the perception of others getting preferential treatment while they feel under-appreciated, invisible or unmotivated.

Watch for signs of flagging engagement such as resistance to implementing new ideas, reduced output, short or curt emails, or a reluctance to communicate from your team members.

Make sure every member feels you are accessible any time if needed.

The benefits of a well-managed global team are motivated individuals who thrive on independence, require little supervision resulting in time efficiencies and cost savings.

Originally published in The Province, August 4, 2013.

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Lead from the middle

June 16, 2013

Q I am an influential VP who pushes agendas forward and gets results. I would bring huge value to the executive team, but the CEO says I come on too strong and need to “tone down” first. That’s not my style. Why should I change?

A You are confident and competent at leading from the front. Rather than perceiving the feedback as a need to change, what if it is an invitation to expand your leadership range? How skilled are you at leading from the middle and the back?

Leading peers requires different skills than leading directs. It involves relinquishing control, responsibility and ownership; collaborating, supporting and championing another’s ideas; being curious rather than convincing; listening, questioning and guiding other’s initiatives. Using their influence to persuade others align to the goal and obtain necessary resources to ensure its success.

When leading in the middle, the leader resists jumping in even if they know the answer.

They are not the dominant player. Instead they create a climate of openness and trust by encouraging all viewpoints, soliciting input and active involvement in decision making.

They point out the value in others opinions, facilitate debate, guide conversations rather than take a position. They ask rather than tell.

When leading from behind, the objective is to stay out of the limelight so others receive recognition for the work.

Ensure everyone works together collaboratively, only contributing strengths where there are deficits.

Effective inspiring leaders are adaptive and can accurately access which style is best suited for the situation to achieve results effectively while maintaining strong working relationships. They are able to hand over the steering wheel – becoming a gracious passenger, not a back seat driver.

Originally printed in The Province, June 16, 2013.

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Confidence needed to be team leader

February 18, 2013

Q: I’ve been hired to lead a team of directors on a project. I have the specific skills for this role, but I’m younger than everyone. They aren’t taking my direction and I need help overcoming my intimidation of them.

A: It is often easier to believe more in your team’s capabilities than in your own. Remind yourself that you earned the seat at the helm. Trust you know what you’re doing.

Your executive presence is a key indicator of how your team responds to you. Authority matters more than age.

Owning your expertise with confidence will instill their trust in you. Your job is to set strategic direction and motivate the team to own the project and its success. Share a strong vision for success assuring the team you know where you are heading.

Lead expedient meetings that are focused and practical. Welcome ideas and suggestions that further the outcomes, but don’t be taken off track. Your experience will be apparent as you inform the team of potential risks and possible benefits of their contributions. Set clear expectations for deliverables with due dates for each member monitoring progress at subsequent meetings.

Be willing to say no when you know it is not the right course of action. Your team may not like it, but they will respect you. Speak with conviction and surety, being mindful to avoid appearing arrogant or controlling. Avoid voting to achieve consensus. It can lead to division or a perception that you are more inclined to please than to take a stand for what is right. Indecision signals self-doubt and undermines your authority. Focusing on your purpose rather than on other’s opinions will help you.

If insecurity still plagues you, seek a mentor or coach to become the leader the organization knows you to be.

Originally published in The Province, Feb. 17, 2013.

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Play nice with vicious co-worker

November 20, 2012

Q: I’m so furious at my colleague who threw me under the bus in front of my entire team. We have to present together to our client next week. How can I work with him when all I want to do is drive over him?

A: Sacrificing a colleague is a cheap temporary solution when the bus is heading directly for him. A convenient scapegoat deflects attention from their mistakes. Running scared creates reactive, short sighted and hurtful actions.

Retaliating may feel better in the short term, but a pedestrian rarely wins when he goes head to head with a bus. It just creates more carnage.

Instead, retreat and nurse your ego until your emotions are no longer clouding your judgment. Replay the situation and identify what you can take responsibility for in the situation.

There is always something. What did you do or not do that allowed you to be cast in a bad light? Find some truth – even if it is only two per cent – in the person’s accusation. As painful as this may be, the self reflection can be a catalyst for huge learning.

Now you have found a starting point to clear the air between you. Take the leader role and book a meeting with your colleague. Open with stepping up and owning your part in the unintended impact. Share what you learned from the situation and what steps you will take to avoid a recurrence. Request his assistance and support.  This can create an opening for your colleague to take responsibility for their actions.  Discuss how you could both work together next time in a way that respects both of your needs.

The bystanders are still watching to see if the runaway bus could take them out, too. Your responsiveness can reinstate the team’s trust and confidence in you and your leadership.

Originally published in The Province, Nov. 18, 2012.

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Clear communication key to managing offshore staff

October 14, 2012

Q: I have just been given an offshore team on three continents and I am worried about how I am going to manage and motivate remotely without micromanaging or working 36/8.

A: Leading virtual teams with geographic and cultural differences, multiple time zones, and lack of face time is complex.

Start strong by hosting a regional meeting in their location. Create ‘social glue’ by having every member create a one-slider with their photo, role, expertise, hobbies and interests so members can connect faces to voices and emails.

Communicate regularly using a variety of methods – email, web meetings, video and teleconferencing.

Be succinct and state the obvious so your point is not missed. Package information in multiple formats using bullet points, visual aids, charts and diagrams to ensure accurate knowledge transfer. Clearly document your expectations, required milestones and objectives, providing templates and checklists for deliverables. Upload all content to a user friendly web system for easy reference 36/8.

A survey showed that attrition can reach 50 per cent when offshore members are expected to work odd hours. Be patient with time lags, respect local customs and holidays. Accept that emails will take 12 hours to be addressed.

Appoint a local team lead to manage deliverables, resolve issues and liaise with you. This lead also needs time at your site to have a complete understanding of how the offshore roles fit into the overall business. They are instrumental for motivating the team by keeping members connected to your vision.

Collaborate rather than command. Involve them in brainstorming, solicit their input and consult with them before making decisions.

Bring them together onshore to experience your working environment firsthand.

Recognize their efforts often so they feel seen rather than isolated and forgotten. The team’s output will be directly related to how you interact and manage them.

Originally published in The Province, Oct. 14, 2012.

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