Defeating ‘impostor syndrome’ is a must

June 8, 2015

Q: I’ve been the COO for three years, yet I still question how I got here. To avoid being discovered as a fraud I work 14 hours a day, six days a week. It is draining and I’m burning out. How do I stop this crazy cycle?

A: Your fear and self doubt are both common and especially prevalent with high achievers who strive to give their best to every endeavour. Research shows that even with evidence of competence or capability, 70 per cent of people suffer from a phenomenon called the ‘impostor syndrome.’

Unfortunately, running to stay ahead of your anxiety will never allow you to savour your successes or feel a sense of satisfaction.

A common mistake is to attribute your successes to external forces, and blame yourself solely for every failure.

Reprogram your thinking by identifying what you did to create the win and acknowledge yourself for it. Rebalance your thinking. Focus your attention on what you are doing well. Stop fixating on the one small item you did wrong that is likely now magnified out of proportion. End the self-defeating comparison game. How can that even be fair when you downplay your successes and elevate others? You automatically lose when measuring other’s outsides to your insides. Their appearance of confidence is no match for your feelings of anxiety.

Acting as if you are confident can lead to actual confidence by altering your brain chemistry. Psychologist Amy Cuddy explains this in her 2012 Ted Talk, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.

The gift of the self doubt to date is it has motivated you to accomplish great things, however at a great cost. Self awareness is the first step to managing the syndrome. Now observe when it is running you and apply the steps above to thwart it.

Reprinted from The Province, June 7, 2015.

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Team lead needs support from boss

November 23, 2014

Q I am the newest member of a national sales team. My remote boss has told me how he expects us to conduct business in a completely different manner from how the rest of the team operates.

I am having a hard time implementing the leader’s directives. The team is sabotaging me by not following through on their commitments, dismissing my input and disregarding my initiatives. How do I get them on board?

A You have your leader’s trust and confidence but not your team’s yet. Even when you bring external expertise and experience to the table, you are a virtual unknown whom the team will test.

Being a change agent is a challenging role at the best of times. People want to maintain the status quo until they understand the benefit to them of the culture change. Employees resent hidden agendas. They want to be informed of any change management efforts before the fact, not afterward.

To add to the complexity, you are new and it takes time to establish enough credibility for others to follow you.

Your boss may be the obstacle to your success. If your leader is privately giving you different directions than how the team has been functioning, this lack of transparency can cause the members to resist your suggestions and viewpoints. To them, you appear like a self-appointed authority, which is likely being viewed as self aggrandizing.

Unless your boss formally announces you as the team lead and provides role clarity, you will not have the positional power to make changes he wants nor will you have the influence to hold members accountable for his desired results.

If he is unwilling to give you the responsibility and the role, it remains his job to manage this team, not yours.

Reprinted from The Province, November 23, 2014

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Confidence needed to be team leader

February 18, 2013

Q: I’ve been hired to lead a team of directors on a project. I have the specific skills for this role, but I’m younger than everyone. They aren’t taking my direction and I need help overcoming my intimidation of them.

A: It is often easier to believe more in your team’s capabilities than in your own. Remind yourself that you earned the seat at the helm. Trust you know what you’re doing.

Your executive presence is a key indicator of how your team responds to you. Authority matters more than age.

Owning your expertise with confidence will instill their trust in you. Your job is to set strategic direction and motivate the team to own the project and its success. Share a strong vision for success assuring the team you know where you are heading.

Lead expedient meetings that are focused and practical. Welcome ideas and suggestions that further the outcomes, but don’t be taken off track. Your experience will be apparent as you inform the team of potential risks and possible benefits of their contributions. Set clear expectations for deliverables with due dates for each member monitoring progress at subsequent meetings.

Be willing to say no when you know it is not the right course of action. Your team may not like it, but they will respect you. Speak with conviction and surety, being mindful to avoid appearing arrogant or controlling. Avoid voting to achieve consensus. It can lead to division or a perception that you are more inclined to please than to take a stand for what is right. Indecision signals self-doubt and undermines your authority. Focusing on your purpose rather than on other’s opinions will help you.

If insecurity still plagues you, seek a mentor or coach to become the leader the organization knows you to be.

Originally published in The Province, Feb. 17, 2013.

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Taking high road pays off in the end

September 13, 2012

Q: I was wrongfully blasted by my boss in front of my entire team. I was so blindsided that I couldn’t even respond. I’m sure I’ve lost all credibility and want to know if there’s any way to recover.

A: You probably feel like you have nowhere to go except out the door right now. However, your silence probably saved you. A public outburst or retort against someone of higher rank can be corporate suicide.

Choosing the high road versus defending the indefensible in the moment pays dividends.

The exchange revealed not just your character but that of your boss under pressure. It is not a weakness to stand in the tornado without acquiescing to your emotions or retaliating.

Demonstrating self-control shows self-discipline, inner resolve and emotional intelligence.

Leaders who manage their impulsivity create an environment of trust, comfort and fairness. One study showed that executives promoted to CEO demonstrated seven times more emotional self management than those who were passed over.

Your team is unlikely to come to your rescue. However, don’t interpret their self preservation as abandoning you.

They are watching you closely. What kind of leader do you want to be viewed as? It is entirely possible to turn a slap in the face into a powerful victory by being viewed as calm, fair and honourable.

Focus your energy on the issue at hand rather than taking the attack personally. Look beyond the boss’s behaviour and determine the underlying trigger for the outburst.

Detach from your reaction before responding so you will be calm and objective as you determine your desired outcome.

Set up a private one-on-one to understand the boss’ perspective, clear the air and set the record straight.

Following these steps could avert being the boss’s future scapegoat when he loses control.

Originally published in The Province, September 9, 2012

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Expert status now a barrier

February 29, 2012

Q: I have pride in being an expert people seek out in my organization, only to discover that it is now the barrier to moving into the executive suite. What can I do to change this?

A: Years of acquiring technical expertise or knowledge makes you so reliable in your current role that there may be a reluctance to promote you. Who else could possibly replace you?

Up to this point you’ve received your satisfaction from accomplishing things, feeling productive. Now, delegation is a high priority. Make yourself obsolete rather than indispensable. Transfer your knowledge to your staff. Give them opportunities to learn and grow so they can take over your job.

Relinquishing control of the daily tactical issues will also showcase your ability to manage a team to successfully meet outcomes. Have them replace you at meetings you cannot attend so others can see how capable they are. It will also give you time out from doing so you can begin thinking strategically at a level above the tactical.

While you progress from being task to strategic focus, you will also need to shift other leaders’ perception of you as a big-picture thinker. Find every opportunity to get visibility at your manager’s level and above. Take on a high-visibility project which would require you to consult with them. Meet with them informally for coffee.

In presentations to leaders, demonstrate your ability to transfer tactical information to the audience at the appropriate level of strategy for their needs. Be clear and succinct when outlining the key critical priorities for success and how they tie back to the strategic objectives and corporate vision.

Make it easy for others to view you as a visionary leader.

Originally published in The Province, February 26, 2012.

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New exec tip: take it slow

November 29, 2010

Q: I am the first woman in my organization to be promoted to the executive team. I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to perform. How can I create a powerful presence so that my perspectives and leadership style will be accepted?

A: First there’s no need to prove yourself. A 19-year study showed that 25 of the top Fortune 500 firms that promoted women into the executive suite were 20-80 per cent more profitable than the medium firms in their industries.

New members provide the team with a valuable point of view that can provide more sound decision-making for a homogeneous team. As part of this team, you are responsible to bring your unique perspective to the table so that it’s heard and considered even though it may not be accepted and adopted.

One of the biggest challenges for any new executive is to step into your new identity so it matches your new role-including viewing corporate issues strategically now instead of tactically. Believing you belong on the team is key since your attitude impacts how you are perceived. If you feel you are fighting to represent an unpopular viewpoint you may come across as defensive. How can you lead so others will follow?

Before rushing to establish your executive presence on the team, assess and manage the relationships. What are the member’s unique drivers, strengths and styles and how are they leveraged on the team? How do members come to agreement on issues? How do they raise and resolve difficult issues?

Collaborate in areas you are already aligned demonstrating your strengths and forging alliances. Credibility and trust take time to develop. Like you, the team needs time to adapt. Enjoy the challenge — you’ve earned it.

Originally published in The Province, November 28, 2010.

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How to handle a boss who breaks promises

February 8, 2009

Q: My boss promises incentives for achieving targets, but when we reach them, he gives every reason why we won’t get them. With the economy the way it is, I can’t afford to make waves and get fired, but I have lost trust and respect for him. How can I get beyond this?

A: Your boss is in the position of authority, but you have a choice — and experiencing that choice offers you freedom and peace even if you don’t get your desired results.

You can choose to resolve this by developing new alternatives where you both still reach your goals and maintain your relationship. Express your point of view in a calm, neutral way without attacking him. Document and verify all future agreements up front.

If your boss still disagrees, you have been true to yourself and you’ll know where you stand. You can’t always change a person’s mind or the situation, no matter how hard you try. Instead of fighting a losing battle, you can decide to accommodate. In other words, let it go.

You can opt to overpower him by taking it to an influential ally or higher power to force the issue. But what’s the long-range cost to you? If his behaviour reflects the organization’s culture, this could be a no-win situation. It might be wise to cut your losses and move on.

Alternatively you can compromise on what goals you are willing to give up in exchange for others. Staying put means contending with this boss. Is it worth the trade-off of not having to job hunt?

Stewing about bad treatment breeds resentment and drains your energy. Refocus on what brings you satisfaction at work. Set your own benchmarks and incentives for attaining them. If you can’t find a way to minimize conflict, minimize the contact.

Originally printed in The Province on February 8, 2009.

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Your strengths will sustain you

October 5, 2008

Q: I’ve just been promoted to senior manager, but I’m intimidated about meeting customers more senior than I. I doubt I have enough to offer someone so experienced. How can I overcome this immediately?

A: A new role can definitely push you out of your comfort zone, but if you didn’t have the potential to grow into the responsibilities, you wouldn’t be in this position.

Build your confidence by leveraging your current strengths. If spontaneity is a challenge, pre-plan your presentation.

Steer the meeting to showcase your unique strengths and knowledge. Promote whatever it is — your technical expertise, business systems integration or financial forecasting. Clearly outline how your solution benefits the client, demonstrating you really understand and care about their needs. Resist the temptation to over-compensate by exaggerating your expertise. They’ll see right through that.

Be honest about what you know and don’t be afraid to say you’ll get back to them when you don’t. Creating space between your interactions can buy you time to formulate intelligent responses.

Before each meeting, take several minutes alone to collect your thoughts and decide what kind of executive presence you want to project: trustworthiness, confidence, flexibility, determination or ingenuity? Think about how you need to show up to demonstrate those characteristics to create that impact.

Finally, enjoy this honeymoon period by giving yourself time to get acquainted with your clients. It is more advantageous to uncover what’s important to them than it is to show off how much you know.

Spend the bulk of your time being genuinely curious about them, what they want, need and how they define success. Forging solid relationships is a wise long-term investment for any promising up-and-comer no matter where their future sights are set.

Originally printed in The Province on October 5, 2008.

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