Defeating ‘impostor syndrome’ is a must

June 8, 2015

Q: I’ve been the COO for three years, yet I still question how I got here. To avoid being discovered as a fraud I work 14 hours a day, six days a week. It is draining and I’m burning out. How do I stop this crazy cycle?

A: Your fear and self doubt are both common and especially prevalent with high achievers who strive to give their best to every endeavour. Research shows that even with evidence of competence or capability, 70 per cent of people suffer from a phenomenon called the ‘impostor syndrome.’

Unfortunately, running to stay ahead of your anxiety will never allow you to savour your successes or feel a sense of satisfaction.

A common mistake is to attribute your successes to external forces, and blame yourself solely for every failure.

Reprogram your thinking by identifying what you did to create the win and acknowledge yourself for it. Rebalance your thinking. Focus your attention on what you are doing well. Stop fixating on the one small item you did wrong that is likely now magnified out of proportion. End the self-defeating comparison game. How can that even be fair when you downplay your successes and elevate others? You automatically lose when measuring other’s outsides to your insides. Their appearance of confidence is no match for your feelings of anxiety.

Acting as if you are confident can lead to actual confidence by altering your brain chemistry. Psychologist Amy Cuddy explains this in her 2012 Ted Talk, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.

The gift of the self doubt to date is it has motivated you to accomplish great things, however at a great cost. Self awareness is the first step to managing the syndrome. Now observe when it is running you and apply the steps above to thwart it.

Reprinted from The Province, June 7, 2015.

Take high road and don’t question decision

March 16, 2014

Q: I was promised a promotion to vice-president based on my knowledge, experience and performance.  Then last month a political appointment was inserted above me, pushing me down a level.

I’m convinced my opportunity has been torn from my grasp.  I feel betrayed and want to get to the bottom of how this happened. What’s the best way to do that?

A: It is devastating being passed over when the selection appears biased, unfair or undeserving. You may have been assured the role, but it still is not an entitlement. Therefore, you have nothing to gain and everything to lose by hunting down the culprit.

How will judging or critiquing the boss’s choices reflect on you? A knee-jerk reaction to quit or blame may, in their mind, justify their decision that you were not the right person for the role. This is not your first obstacle en route to the executive suite. The hardest distance to run in a marathon is the last mile.

If you choose to stick it out, take the high road to the finish line.

Keep your disappointment away from the workplace, seek feedback for improvement and support the new leader.

Believe that your continued commitment and outstanding abilities will once again be recognized.

If the leader is not a fit for the role, the obstacle may only be temporary. Therefore, staying the course may still pay dividends, albeit delayed.

Use the additional time strategically, exhibiting qualities of a resilient team player, trusted ally and reliable leader. If this is not the first time you have been passed over, your future may be limited at this company.

Best to move on perceived as a diplomat caught in the crossfire than an antagonistic bridge burner.

Originally printed in The Province, Mar 16, 2014.

Effective mentors make great leaders

January 19, 2014

Q My goal for 2014 is to be promoted to director level. Other than the specifics my boss has told me, what else should I ensure I do?

A: Performing every aspect of your job in a professional and exemplary manner is a must. Going above and beyond expectations, operating as if you are already at the director level will help decision makers envision you in the new role. Focus on tasks that are appropriate for your level. Delegate the others.

When handing work off, enrol individuals so they feel inspired and empowered – not resentful – to help you. People want to grow and learn. Show them how these are opportunities to support and develop them. Coach or mentor them along the way. Step up for high-visibility projects that showcase your strengths and versatility. Increasing your areas of expertise raises your value to the organization. Share your accomplishments where appropriate in ways that are humble and matter-of-fact, not self promotional or aggressive.

Broaden your network to align with the right people outside of your department or functional area. Cultivate strong relationships with peers, your manager and others in positions of power. Collaborating with others to help them succeed shows you are confident, trustworthy and respectful. Communicate clearly, conveying the appropriate amount of information for a director.

Too often, leaders give too little context – confusing the listener – and too much detail, which undermines their message. Find the right balance of both for every audience.

Above all, be yourself. When what you do is a right fit, work is easier and more fun.  Passionate committed leaders are infectious.

Lead from the middle

June 16, 2013

Q I am an influential VP who pushes agendas forward and gets results. I would bring huge value to the executive team, but the CEO says I come on too strong and need to “tone down” first. That’s not my style. Why should I change?

A You are confident and competent at leading from the front. Rather than perceiving the feedback as a need to change, what if it is an invitation to expand your leadership range? How skilled are you at leading from the middle and the back?

Leading peers requires different skills than leading directs. It involves relinquishing control, responsibility and ownership; collaborating, supporting and championing another’s ideas; being curious rather than convincing; listening, questioning and guiding other’s initiatives. Using their influence to persuade others align to the goal and obtain necessary resources to ensure its success.

When leading in the middle, the leader resists jumping in even if they know the answer.

They are not the dominant player. Instead they create a climate of openness and trust by encouraging all viewpoints, soliciting input and active involvement in decision making.

They point out the value in others opinions, facilitate debate, guide conversations rather than take a position. They ask rather than tell.

When leading from behind, the objective is to stay out of the limelight so others receive recognition for the work.

Ensure everyone works together collaboratively, only contributing strengths where there are deficits.

Effective inspiring leaders are adaptive and can accurately access which style is best suited for the situation to achieve results effectively while maintaining strong working relationships. They are able to hand over the steering wheel – becoming a gracious passenger, not a back seat driver.

Originally printed in The Province, June 16, 2013.

Confidence needed to be team leader

February 18, 2013

Q: I’ve been hired to lead a team of directors on a project. I have the specific skills for this role, but I’m younger than everyone. They aren’t taking my direction and I need help overcoming my intimidation of them.

A: It is often easier to believe more in your team’s capabilities than in your own. Remind yourself that you earned the seat at the helm. Trust you know what you’re doing.

Your executive presence is a key indicator of how your team responds to you. Authority matters more than age.

Owning your expertise with confidence will instill their trust in you. Your job is to set strategic direction and motivate the team to own the project and its success. Share a strong vision for success assuring the team you know where you are heading.

Lead expedient meetings that are focused and practical. Welcome ideas and suggestions that further the outcomes, but don’t be taken off track. Your experience will be apparent as you inform the team of potential risks and possible benefits of their contributions. Set clear expectations for deliverables with due dates for each member monitoring progress at subsequent meetings.

Be willing to say no when you know it is not the right course of action. Your team may not like it, but they will respect you. Speak with conviction and surety, being mindful to avoid appearing arrogant or controlling. Avoid voting to achieve consensus. It can lead to division or a perception that you are more inclined to please than to take a stand for what is right. Indecision signals self-doubt and undermines your authority. Focusing on your purpose rather than on other’s opinions will help you.

If insecurity still plagues you, seek a mentor or coach to become the leader the organization knows you to be.

Originally published in The Province, Feb. 17, 2013.

Taking high road pays off in the end

September 13, 2012

Q: I was wrongfully blasted by my boss in front of my entire team. I was so blindsided that I couldn’t even respond. I’m sure I’ve lost all credibility and want to know if there’s any way to recover.

A: You probably feel like you have nowhere to go except out the door right now. However, your silence probably saved you. A public outburst or retort against someone of higher rank can be corporate suicide.

Choosing the high road versus defending the indefensible in the moment pays dividends.

The exchange revealed not just your character but that of your boss under pressure. It is not a weakness to stand in the tornado without acquiescing to your emotions or retaliating.

Demonstrating self-control shows self-discipline, inner resolve and emotional intelligence.

Leaders who manage their impulsivity create an environment of trust, comfort and fairness. One study showed that executives promoted to CEO demonstrated seven times more emotional self management than those who were passed over.

Your team is unlikely to come to your rescue. However, don’t interpret their self preservation as abandoning you.

They are watching you closely. What kind of leader do you want to be viewed as? It is entirely possible to turn a slap in the face into a powerful victory by being viewed as calm, fair and honourable.

Focus your energy on the issue at hand rather than taking the attack personally. Look beyond the boss’s behaviour and determine the underlying trigger for the outburst.

Detach from your reaction before responding so you will be calm and objective as you determine your desired outcome.

Set up a private one-on-one to understand the boss’ perspective, clear the air and set the record straight.

Following these steps could avert being the boss’s future scapegoat when he loses control.

Originally published in The Province, September 9, 2012

Managers need to buffer staff from stress

May 14, 2012

Q: Our region has been understaffed and over-worked for almost 18 months due to output demands and a head count freeze. My staff is burned out, tempers are flaring and productivity is dropping. How can I reduce the stress when I can’t hire?

A: The high price of stress includes errors in judgment, interpersonal conflicts, increased com-plaints and absenteeism.

Stress caused by organizational issues or poor leader-ship decisions can be mitigated by ensuring staff perceive their work as meaningful and valuable.

Managers may unknowingly contribute to employees’ stress by treating all assignments as urgent and pressure employees to meet unnecessary deadlines.

Recognize the volume and intensity of the work-loads. Multiple assignments increase stress. Set realistic expectations and deadlines. Prioritize and provide clear instructions so staff can make effective choices. Stream-line or eliminate extraneous steps.

Micromanaging also causes undue stress, as staff feels controlled and stifled. Develop employees’ skills and abilities so they work independently to achieve their own success. Assign tasks and responsibilities that play to employees’ strengths. Recognize their accomplishments.

Studies show that the leader’s energy is contagious. Humour and fun increase positivity. Managers who take their jobs and themselves too seriously risk depleting their workforce.

Encourage staff to take lunch and breaks to recharge and connect with colleagues. Flexible hours or telecom-muting gives employees autonomy. Time off enables them to return refreshed and more motivated. With-out any vacations, staff will begin performing worse and working more slowly.

Invite staff to face-to-face meetings to discuss and dif-fuse conflicts. Validating their viewpoints serves as a safety valve to vent their fear, frustration and concerns. Man-agers must also buffer their staff from the stress produced by those higher in the chain of command.

Managers who communicate with their staff fairly, openly and honestly can preserve a cohesive productive workplace.

Originally printed in The Province, May 13, 2012.

Expert status now a barrier

February 29, 2012

Q: I have pride in being an expert people seek out in my organization, only to discover that it is now the barrier to moving into the executive suite. What can I do to change this?

A: Years of acquiring technical expertise or knowledge makes you so reliable in your current role that there may be a reluctance to promote you. Who else could possibly replace you?

Up to this point you’ve received your satisfaction from accomplishing things, feeling productive. Now, delegation is a high priority. Make yourself obsolete rather than indispensable. Transfer your knowledge to your staff. Give them opportunities to learn and grow so they can take over your job.

Relinquishing control of the daily tactical issues will also showcase your ability to manage a team to successfully meet outcomes. Have them replace you at meetings you cannot attend so others can see how capable they are. It will also give you time out from doing so you can begin thinking strategically at a level above the tactical.

While you progress from being task to strategic focus, you will also need to shift other leaders’ perception of you as a big-picture thinker. Find every opportunity to get visibility at your manager’s level and above. Take on a high-visibility project which would require you to consult with them. Meet with them informally for coffee.

In presentations to leaders, demonstrate your ability to transfer tactical information to the audience at the appropriate level of strategy for their needs. Be clear and succinct when outlining the key critical priorities for success and how they tie back to the strategic objectives and corporate vision.

Make it easy for others to view you as a visionary leader.

Originally published in The Province, February 26, 2012.

Take positives from negative

December 5, 2011

Q: I just got my 360 review and I’m devastated. I thought I was doing a great
job because my staff always achieves their results.

I discovered that being task focused makes people feel used and ignored. How
will I recover from this?

A: While the review may be negative, your attitude is positive and open. How
you handle the results is far more important than what you received. Absorb,
understand and act.

Take time to let the results sink in. Pay attention to good feedback, too.
Reflect on the information with curiosity and compassion rather than self
judgment.

Reduce the risk of appearing defensive. Don’t take any action until you are
unemotional.

Never seek more information or confront respondents. They already risked
giving you an honest assessment. Ask yourself: What are the common themes? How
are my good intentions being negatively perceived? What kind of leader do I want
to be?

?What three behaviours that would create the greatest positive impact and
reveal the leader you are aspiring to be?

? What small simple behavioural shifts would make a big difference?

? What manager, mentor, colleague or leadership coach would support your
development with ongoing feedback and holding you accountable to your
commitments.

Bring your staff onside by sharing with them how you intend to change. Invite
them to keep you on track by acknowledging you when you are successful and
calling you out when old behaviours creep in. Making changes based on their
feedback demonstrates you are a leader who values your staff enough to listen
and learn from them. That alone will positively alter their perception of
you.

Originally published in The Province, December 4, 2011.

Team resists new vision

January 19, 2011

Q: After being in the role of CEO for six months, my executive team continues to resist my vision. I recognize a change in leadership requires an adjustment period. But they agreed to the new direction, so I feel angry and betrayed by them. How do I get them to do what I need to move my initiatives forward?

A: The answer probably lies in your question. You clearly own the vision. Your team must, too. Your commanding style of leadership may be alienating them. They could be resisting you, not your vision.

Try a collaborative approach. Shift your attitude from me and mine to us and we, making room for them to share with you. Begin by being genuinely curious about their perspectives, opinions and recommendations. Switch from telling them what you want to asking them what they suggest.

Encourage and incorporate their input wherever possible. If you continually resist their ideas, they will feel disempowered, quickly disengage and will probably start resisting you, too.

Your team needs to feel included, trusted and supported. Give them recognition and credit, point out what they are doing well. They will likely respond more favourably once you value their unique abilities and contribution.

See things from their vantage point. Demonstrate empathy for their role of integrating a new strategy with staff’s current reality.

Perhaps you moved to action before establishing solid alignment on the vision, goals and methods. Clarify the vision, set outcomes, and targets then give them the latitude to run with it.

Solicit their feedback on your leadership. Make the necessary changes in you so they willingly move forward with you at the helm. It is easier to adapt your style than your entire teams’.

Originally published in The Province, January 16, 2011.

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